


Wish You Were Here

by AllFuckedUpOnLove



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Boyfriends, Couch Cuddles, Falling In Love, First Date, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, M/M, Mentions of marriage, Pancakes, Plot Twist, Slow Dancing, soft, sort of a slow burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-06-24 12:00:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15630273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllFuckedUpOnLove/pseuds/AllFuckedUpOnLove
Summary: "If Cas had to pick a location for a first date, his initial choice probably wouldn’t be a themed dive bar, yet here he was, knuckle deep in boneless wings, smiling like an idiot, across from a beautiful guy. He would’ve opted for the little Italian restaurant downtown, or mini golf, but Dean insisted on Pirate’s Cove, and how could he turn down that deep voice and those puppy dog eyes?"





	Wish You Were Here

If Cas had to pick a location for a first date, his initial choice probably wouldn’t be a themed dive bar, yet here he was, knuckle deep in boneless wings, smiling like an idiot, across from a beautiful guy. He would’ve opted for the little Italian restaurant downtown, or mini golf, but Dean insisted on Pirate’s Cove, and how could he turn down that deep voice and those puppy dog eyes?

“Aye, aye, mateys! Can I get ya another round?” The owner and resident bartender, Captain Garth, came over to check on two of his favorite customers. He was sporting a black eyepatch, red bandana, and a curly mustache.

“I think I’m set for right now,” Dean said, taking a sip of his beer.

 “Anything for your better half?” Captain Garth asked, turning his attention to Cas.

“Oh, we’re not...” The sentiment had taken Cas by surprise. “This is only our first date.”

“Oh! Well, it seems old Captain Garth walked the plank on that one, huh?” He leaned over to Dean and said, “I wish you the best of luck.”

The jukebox in the corner rattled off classic rock as smoke settled around the two men. They ate their wings out of little boat shaped baskets and shared tidbits about themselves.

Dean was honestly one of the most intriguing and aesthetically pleasing men Cas had ever laid eyes on. A rough around the edges business man, with soft features, bright eyes, and a heart-melting smile. Cas kept cracking jokes just so he could see those lips bloom with joy. For a moment, he lost himself in the thought of what it would be like to wake up next to that smile. To kiss those lips.

He was pulled out of his reverie by Dean asking if he’d like to dance. No wasn’t an option. Dean fed some change into the jukebox and put on a slow, romantic tune. He could tell some of the patrons would’ve preferred something more upbeat, but Dean didn’t seem to care. He was on a mission.

At first, they danced like two middle schoolers who had to keep enough space between them for Jesus, until Cas got brave and pulled Dean flush against him.

It was probably the alcohol, but Cas felt like he’d known this man for a long time. He inhaled the scent of sandalwood cologne as Dean slid his hand to the small of his back. They both felt like they were dreaming. It was a warm-glow, bliss-filled, slice of heaven in this dingy bar.

Shifting his gaze between Dean’s eyes and his lips, Cas was entirely consumed by his beauty. Dean leaned in, their foreheads touching, seemingly blocking out the rest of the world. It was only the two of them. Cas could feel the warmth of Dean’s breath against his lips, the faint aroma of hops trailing behind, and his heart fluttered. They were so close and yet so far, but Dean didn’t move. Didn’t want to break the stillness of the moment. He just held Cas close, humming under his breath to the music.

Overcome by a nearly insatiable fervor, Cas pressed his lips against Dean’s. There was a spark that ignited something in both of them. It was like two currents crashing and swirling into each other, yet feather light and delicate. Desperately craved, like the first rainfall of a scorching summer. This felt like oasis.

If he wasn’t mistaken, Cas could’ve sworn Dean whispered “I love you,” but he probably misheard, the music being so loud.

“Do you want to go back to my place?” Dean asked.

He definitely heard correctly that time, and happily accepted the invitation. There was no mistaking that Dean was a catch, and Cas felt lucky to be holding the net.

 

 

They cuddled up on the couch, Dean in plaid pajamas, Cas in a borrowed pair of sweatpants, as they watched a movie. Cas must’ve fallen asleep, because the next thing he knew, he was waking up to the smell of what he assumed was pancakes.

There was a neon sticky note on the door that read:

“It’s morning! Come get breakfast! - Dean.”

It would’ve seemed weird, but Dean had lots of little sticky notes around the house. Ones on the light switches that read: “Light: On/Off,” ones on the sink that read: “Water: Left- Hot, Right- Cold.” He just assumed Dean had a very particular way of keeping things organized.

As Cas straggled into the kitchen, hair mussed, and yawning, he saw Dean flipping pancakes onto a plate.

“Morning sunshine!” Dean said, pulling out a chair. “Made your favorite: chocolate chip pancakes and hash browns.”

Cas couldn’t believe it. “This is so sweet! How did you know?”

“You may have mentioned it to me once or twice.”

Sitting down to a beautifully set table, Cas admired the centerpiece of fresh flowers.

“What did I do to deserve all this?”

“It’s the weekend,” Dean said. “I figured I’d do something special for my someone special.”

Cas took a bite of the pancakes and sighed in content. They were delicious.

“If this is how you treat a guy after the first date, I think I’ll stick around.”

Dean hummed to himself, trying to remain patient. He didn’t think he could handle more than another week of this. Every morning the same sleepy smile greeting him, every morning the same honest surprise, every morning his heart swelling with hope only to be rung dry before the coffee was done.

“Well, lucky for you, I have plans for us this evening.”

“Oh really?” Cas asked, shoveling the crispy potatoes into his mouth. “Where are we going?

“That would ruin the surprise now wouldn’t it?” Dean grinned, standing up to get the coffee. As he poured them both a cup, he couldn’t help but wonder if tonight would be the night.

 

Cas spent the whole day pondering what the evening’s events would entail. Dean hadn’t told him too much, apart from the fact that they were going someplace upscale. Dean had also taken the liberty of picking out a suit for Cas to wear.

Around seven, came a knock on the bedroom door. Cas was filled with nerves as he answered.

“You look… amazing.” Dean stared, wide-eyed, at the gorgeous man before him. Cas really did clean up well.

“Thank you! I still can’t believe you own so many clothes. Your family must run one hell of a company.”

Dean simply extended his arm, disregarding the comment. “Shall we?”

 

At dinner, Cas was almost too embarrassed to order anything. Dean insisted on paying, and this was the kind of place that didn’t put dollar signs on the menu. They sipped their drinks and picked at their appetizers under the warm glow of candle light.

“I love how certain smells and tastes can take you back, you know? Do you have any fond memories associated with champagne?”

Dean was looking at Cas like he rose the mountains from the earth, his whole face lit up and enchanted. Cas couldn’t quite figure out why he was being treated so well by someone he barely knew.

“I don’t mean to sound rude or ungrateful, but why are you being so sweet on me?”

Dean was a little disappointed that Cas dodged his question.

“What can I say? When someone comes into your life, and they make your heart sing, why waste a single moment? Every day is a gift, after all.”

“I’ll drink to that!”

After taking a swig, Dean set his glass on the table. He stood from his seat and kneeled down beside Cas.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were about to propose to me,” Cas said, blushing as he finished his glass of champagne.

Cas’s words made Dean’s heart jump, but he didn’t let the feeling simmer long.

“No, I’m just tying my shoe.” He quickly knotted the laces and returned to his seat.

“Too bad, I don’t think I’d mind being Mr. Castiel Winchester. It has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”

“I do.”

Dean stared at Cas, waiting for something to click, waiting for something more than just casual dinner conversation, but it never came.

 

When they arrived home, they decided to watch a movie. Again. Dean had picked it especially because it was one of Cas’s favorites. He could pretty much quote the whole thing, and Dean found that incredibly endearing.

They were nestled under a large comforter, Dean in plaid pajamas, Cas in a borrowed pair of sweatpants. Dean was propped up against the arm rest, Cas’s back pressed against his chest. He ran his fingers through Cas’s hair, basking in the warmth and comfort of the other man’s presence. He leaned down and placed a gentle kiss to Cas’s forehead.

It was moments like this that gave Dean hope. Hope that he could get everything back. Hope that Cas would finally come around. And then it happened.

“I think I’m in love with you?” Cas whispered. It came out as more of a question than a statement. As if he was slowly coming to a realization.

Dean shot up, Cas’s words lighting a fire within him. “What did you say?”

“I feel like... I’ve known you... for a long time.”

“You have, you have! That’s good, Cas. What else do you remember?”

His eyes narrowed as he tried to understand the flashes of fogged up memory that were coming back to him, like he was trying to recall the details of a dream.

“I’m not sure.”

If you listened closely, you could hear Dean’s heart strings snap. Those were the words he dreaded the most. He didn’t know what else to do, so he just let it pour out of him.

“I’ve tried everything I can think of, Cas. I cooked the same breakfast everyday, your favorite. I took you back to the bar where we met, we danced to our song. We watched the same movie from the night

I first told you I loved you. We ate at the same restaurant where I proposed to you. I even put you in the exact same suit you were wearing that night. I tried so hard to make everything absolutely identical in hopes that you would remember some part of it.”

“I’m so sorry, Dean.”

“It’s not your fault. I’ve been living these same couple of days with you for weeks. Every morning you wake up, and you’re surprised that I made you pancakes. Every morning you sit across the table from me, as if it were the first time. And every morning my heart sinks.”

Dean took Cas’s face into his hands, looking deeply into his eyes. “I am so madly in love with you. I need you to remember Cas, please.” His voice broke as tears welled in his eyes.

Dean knew his words were nothing but a quiet prayer sent into the ether. Despite the accident having been non-fatal, it might as well have killed Cas, because he wasn’t the same. The doctors said he might not ever fully regain his memory. He might not ever be him again.

Looking down at their hands, Cas noticed the matching rings. Identical gold bands engraved with tiny lettering, and it finally clicked.

“We’re married.”

The declaration hit Dean in some part of him he tried to keep buried. He nodded his head, unable to hold back the tears any longer. This was the most progress Cas had shown since they left the hospital. Then he got an idea.

He took out his phone, and pulled up pictures from their wedding. He knew it was a long shot, but what was one more attempt at jogging Cas’s memory?

He swiped through the pictures, asking Cas if any of it was coming back to him. He shook his head, no.

After a few more pictures, Dean decided to play a video from the ceremony.

A soft crescendo of strings came through the speaker as Cas walked down the aisle. This was the happiest day of Dean’s entire life, and he remembered it well enough for the both of them.

Cas looked like the sun personified, radiating joy, with a smile wide as an ocean’s horizon. Dean was never more prepared to spend eternity amongst waves. When they said “I do,” Dean’s pulse was racing. You could see his hands shaking in the video, but Cas was there with him, equally as excited and terrified as he was.

When they kissed, and the were finally announced husband and husband, it was almost as if they became one. Their love identical and mirrored in the moment.

Dean set the phone down, and held Cas’s hands. Even now, they were shaking. Dean had spent his life looking for the better half of his soul, and here he was, oblivious to all of it.

“I promised you for better or for worse. Rich or poor. In sickness and in health, and I meant it. I’m not gonna stop until I get you back. Until I get my husband back.” Dean let his gaze fall to the ground.

“I just miss you so much,” he said, defeated.

Cas took Dean into his arms, holding him tight, afraid he might fall apart otherwise. He couldn’t remember everything, but Cas knew he loved this man and that he wanted to make it better. He wasn’t sure how, so he just settled on the one thing he knew he could do, and that was to be there in that moment, unconditional and empathetic.

They stayed like that, wrapped up in each other, until eventually they fell asleep.

 

The next morning, Dean was yet again whipping up a stack of chocolate chip pancakes when Cas entered the room. His heart skipped a beat, and he froze in anticipation.

“Good morning, my love.” Cas yawned, hair mussed, stretching his arms up to the ceiling.

Euphoria washed over Dean, his smile plastered like a croissant under cherry-blushed cheeks. Cas remembered.

“Good morning, indeed.”

Cas gently placed a kiss to Dean’s lips, spying what was in the pan.

“Pancakes! My favorite!”

As Cas excitedly filled his plate, Dean had to remind himself that this was a marathon, not a sprint. He had to cherish the little bit of good that cut through the bad. He knew that his husband wasn’t entirely himself yet, and that he might not ever be, but some of the pieces had resurfaced, and that was all he needed to put his heart at ease.

Falling in love, over and over, with the same person, Dean thought, that’s the kind of misfortune some people only dream about. He just had to hang on, day by day, piece by piece, until the healing was done. Perhaps it never would be, but as long as Dean had a home within some fractured corner of Cas’s mind, he could learn to live with the wounds.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all for reading!  
> This one broke my heart, but in the best way.  
> Hope you liked it!  
> Feel free to leave kudos and comments! :)


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